Chapter 17
The Haunted House
On the outskirts of Pink Top City, in a field where the grass was three feet tall was an old, abandoned facility that hadn’t been used in over ten years. The walls had paint peeling off them and the windows were smashed. Inside a single light lit the corridor, which was dirty with medical equipment strewn on the floors. From a distance, kittens were mewing.
In one of the rooms, Percy had a box of kittens mewing and was petting Anubis on his lap. He sat in one of the old chairs and marveled at the teenage boys locked in a room, pounding on the window trying to break it. Percy smirked and his ruby eyes glistened.
Percy: “What a magical night. I knew to follow you… creatures to see what mischief you’ve been up to and I see it’s just downright disgusting.”
He chuckled and laughed at them crying. Percy snapped his fingers.
Percy: “This particular room you’re in… is reserved for Grandfather dearest’s bug boy or bug girl! He has tried to create the most superior being and has met with no success! Guess what? You get to test this out!”
He clapped his hands and rose to press the button near the door.
Percy sat back and watched. He saw the orange lights go on as the room temperature started to accelerate to five hundred degrees. He saw their skin melt off their faces and they screamed in pain. One reached out to the window and drew back when it burned them. As the temperature rose, the teenage boys screamed as they burst into flames. Percy smiled and spread his arms out.
Percy: “This, mes amis, is what you all planned to do to Anubis and these kittens… What you planned to do to them… is what I am doing to you! Isn’t this magical?!”
He laughed and clapped his hands as they collapsed on the floor in a burning mess. Percy smirked at the charred skeleton remains.
Percy: “These would make wonderful Halloween decorations and they’d be authentic, too!”
He wiggled his eyebrows.
~
Tristan’s eyes fluttered. He groaned and shifted in his seat. He felt his arms tied behind his back, his feet locked in stocks. He snapped his eyes open and he was in a room with striped purple wallpaper, cobwebs, and image projections of ghosts and ghouls. He turned his head and saw Fabien was next to him also bound.
Tristan: “Wonderful…”
He muttered dryly.
Fabien: “How do you think I feel? You and your little simp tried to out my plans!”
He hissed. Tristan rolled his eyes.
Tristan: “That’s worse than being tied up by God knows who? It’s irrelevant, Fabien. Craig doesn’t know what we’re talking about.”
He said evenly.
The door creaked open. A large figure entered the door. They stepped into the light and it was someone in a large bear fursuit. It was a brown bear with a gambler mustache who wore a dark gray sports jacket with a lily on his lapel, a light gray waistcoat, a white pressed shirt, and a pink tie. He had white gloves on his hands and a dark gray fedora on his head. It was someone in a Don Bearelli fursuit. Don Bearelli was a character used by Zabney and was sold to an unknown buyer who now has full rights to the character.
Don Bearelli: “Okay, I saw you two snooping around the warehouse where I keep my jewels! You two better talk! I have ways of making you talk!”
He said in a gravelly voice. Fabien chuckled.
Fabien: “Heh, kinky.”
Tristan groaned.
Tristan: “Let me go. I am uninterested in these games.”
He rolled his eyes.
Don Bearelli: “Okay, if you two don’t tell me where the gems are, I will make you talk!”
He began removing Tristan’s shoes and revealed sheer light blue dress socks. He pulled those off. Tristan fanned his toes out. Tristan’s heart thundered in his chest. He hated where this was going. He loved it when Deimos would tickle him but not some weird guy in a bear costume. He untied Fabien’s sneakers and removed his socks. Fabien chuckled.
Don Bearelli: “Now pay the price!”
He began scrubbing their feet with electric toothbrushes. Tristan shrieked and threw his head back laughing hysterically. Fabien laughed and squirmed in his seat.
Tristan: “WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOHOHOHOHO!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!”
He screamed and laughed.
Fabien: “Hahahahahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
He laughed and shivered.
~
Deimos, Celeste, Ivy, and Craig entered the haunted house and were greeted by a creepy dummy in a tuxedo with googly eyes lit up in a neon green light. Craig jolted with fright when he saw the creepy thing.
Craig: “YARGH!”
He yelped. They all turned to look at him. Craig shifted his eyes.
Craig: “What?! It just popped outta nowhere…”
He cleared his throat, trying to downplay.
Deimos: “Whatever, crybaby! You can suck your thumb after Fabien burps you and puts you to bed!”
He snapped.
Craig: “Fuck off!”
He fired back. Ivy rolled her eyes at Craig.
Ivy: “Just ignore the toddler.”
She said to Deimos, wanting to get to Tristan. Deimos nodded and they ventured on.
They entered a room of mirrors with checkered floors and heard a clown laughing. They saw a menacing clown appear behind the mirror baring its razor-sharp teeth. Craig jolted again.
Craig: “ARGHHHH! Fuck you, clown cunt!”
He rasped, punching it in the face.
They ran to the next room. They entered a dark hall dimly lit in red. Ghosts came flooding in. Craig jolted again. Celeste grabbed a staff and twirled it around as she ran through the foyers, swishing the ghosts away.
Celeste: “Come on!”
Deimos followed her lead. Craig cowered up to the wall.
Craig: “W-wait for me!”
He whimpered, following after them.
Craig: “I don’t wanna be the one at the back!”
He cried, shoving past Ivy, pushing her to the back of the line, and causing her to fall to the ground. Ivy glared at him.
Ivy: “HEY! Watch it! You oaf!!”
She snapped at him. Deimos went back to her and Celeste jumped on Craig’s head to get to her. Craig fell on his face.
Celeste: “Are you okay?”
She helped her up. Ivy glared at Craig as she helped her up.
Ivy: “Thanks, Celeste, I’m fine.”
Craig: “OWW! H-Hey what about me?!”
He groaned as he rubbed his face where he fell.
They heard a roar and saw a giant snake with its mouth open to devour them chasing them. Celeste lifted Ivy over her head and ran down the hall and Deimos followed.
Deimos: “JESUS CHRIST!”
He shrieked.
Craig: “YAAAAAARGGH! HOLY FUCK!”
He screamed and pushed past them all, shoving them aside into the walls and the floors to get away. They all fell through the floor and slid down a slide.
Deimos: “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Celeste: “This is fun!”
Craig: “NOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ivy: “ARRGHH!”
They slid into a room and Celeste landed on the floor with Ivy in her arms. She put her down. Deimos landed on the floor and Craig landed on his face. They were in a purple and green room with vials of brains. There was a vial of a brain the size of a golf ball. Deimos pointed to it.
Deimos: “Look, Craig, we found your brain.”
He quipped. Ivy laughed. Craig glared at them.
Craig: “Nah, fuck you!”
He huffed and pouted.
A gust of wind blew past them and their hair blew.
Deimos: “...What was that?”
He shifted his eyes. Then they heard Tristan and Fabien laughing.
Deimos: “I hear Tristan! Let’s go!”
He ran toward the sound of the laughter.
~
Tristan and Fabien were both being tickled on their feet. Tristan wheezed and breathed ragged breaths between laughing and found this hard.
Tristan: “HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA OH GOD MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAKE IT STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!”
He whined and laughed. Fabien laughed as tears streamed down his cheeks.
Fabien: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Tristan gasped and felt like he was going to pass out and his lungs would burst.
The door busted open. The Don stopped tickling the two men. Tristan threw his head back as tears dripped down his cheeks and he panted widely. Fabien inhaled sharply. Don Bearelli turned around and no one was there.
Don Bearelli: “What?!”
Suddenly, he was kicked and his head came off revealing a white man with dark green hair and a five o’clock shadow.
Man: “What the fuck, man?! I’m just a sex worker!”
He cried.
He looked up at a tall thin white man with a pointy nose, a cleft in his chin, and long black hair, and he wore a Nuklear Intoxikation Sucks t-shirt, a denim vest, torn jeans, a bullet belt, and white sneakers. He had Ray Ban sunglasses obscuring his eyes. There was a tattoo wrapped around his right arm detailing a dead tree with a skull and a watch. On his left forearm, there was kanji.
The man jumped up and landed on Tristan’s stocks and hovered over him. Tristan gasped as the man’s face was inches from his, feeling his fear accelerate.
Tristan: “G-GET AWAY!”
Woman’s voice: “OH NO, YOU DON’T!”
Robot hands shot out at the man. The man smirked and swiftly released Tristan from his bonds. He held him close as he sped through the machines, smashing them. He landed on the floor with Tristan snaked in his arm.
Woman’s voice: “NOOOOO!!! WHY DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP DESTROYING MY BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS?!”
She wailed in a tinny voice.
Fabien: “Uh, excuse me? Get me out of here?”
He asked sharply and thrashed against his bonds.
Deimos, Ivy, Celeste, and Craig entered the room. Deimos saw red when he saw the man holding Tristan.
Tristan: “Deimos!”
He reached out to him. The man took Tristan’s hand and held it to his chest while locking his gaze. You are even more beautiful than I imagined, the man thought. Tristan glared at him with disgust. Ivy read the man’s mind and groused.
Deimos: “LET HIM GO!”
He screamed.
Tristan: “Unhand me, you oaf!”
He hissed and tried to wrench away. He raised his other hand to use his cryokinesis. Deimos ran after them and the man jumped back at an inhuman speed. Deimos gasped. Ivy froze when something dawned on her. Celeste pointed at the man and opened her mouth.
Ivy: “Get away from him, PERCY!”
She glared at the man.
Celeste: “Oh, I knew it was him because the IDIOT’S tattoos were showing. This is why I said assassins should NEVER get tattoos but dumb fuck here didn’t listen to me!”
She snapped. Percy chuckled. Deimos glowered at him.
Deimos: “So this is the man Ivy and Celeste spoke of… I never imagined you to look like this.”
Percy: “What are you talking about?! I’m the king of thrash metal! It’s wicked sick! I got me a band called Bogan Intoxication! He held up a vinyl sleeve of an ad posted on “BuyStinkySocks.Com” of Craig sleeping and pictures of his feet. The ad was titled “Unemployed Loser’s Stinky Socks” and it said, “Want stinky socks from a self-proclaimed thrash metal king? He can’t run a band but he can stink up a pair of socks more than dead roadkill roasting on a highway under the sun!” Fabien turned white as a ghost when Percy held that up. Tristan looked at it and looked at Fabien.
Craig: “OI! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, CUNT?!”
He rasped.
Craig: “There’s only ONE king of the thrash metal jungle and it’s ME!”
He huffed, pointing to himself.
Deimos: “Go ask your boy toy about that stupid ad he has on his vinyl sleeve, dipshit!”
He screamed at Craig. Fabien shrank in his seat and struggled against his bonds.
Craig: “The fuck are you talking about?!”
He huffed and went over to Fabien. Fabien trembled in his seat and froze turgid.
Craig: “Don’t be scared, Fabien! I’m here to rescue you!”
He assured him with a grin, tugging at his bonds. Fabien’s jaw dropped. Tristan sighed. Be grateful he’s that stupid, he thought.
Fabien: “Oh, my hero!”
He blurted.
Deimos turned to Percy and shot his forefinger at him.
Deimos: “Now you give me Tristan back!”
He growled at Percy.
Percy: “Oi, mate, you can’t catch the true king of the thrash metal jungle! This bogan is just an imitation! He’s the Sex Bees, cunt!”
He drawled.
Celeste: “Your costume stinks like Craig’s feet!”
Craig: “OI! FUCK YOU! I’m not Sex Bees and my feet don’t stink!”
He huffed.
Ivy rolled her eyes. She didn’t care about Craig and just wanted to get Tristan and get out of there. Maybe he could be used to distract Percy? She thought. Ivy snuck over to Tristan while Percy and Craig had their tête-a-tête. She held her forefinger against her lips to signal Tristan to be quiet as she tried to wrench him from Percy. Tristan licked his lips and did as she instructed. Percy turned to Ivy with a cold glare.
Percy: “What do you think you’re doing?”
He jumped back and Celeste shot out and punched him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Percy released Tristan and he flew out of his arms.
Celeste: “Great distraction, Ivy!”
Deimos ran over and caught him in midair.
Deimos: “I saved you, Tristan!”
He said to him. Ivy frowned and looked away.
Celeste: “No, I did! You owe me dinner for two weeks!”
Percy growled and scrambled to his feet.
Percy: “NO! He’s my ice prince and you stole him from me!”
Celeste: “Like you stole my job from me? Well, now we’re even!”
She blew a raspberry at him.
The ground shook. Everyone stopped and a giant bear robot smashed through the wall. The sex worker scrambled to his feet and ran out with the costume. Everyone stared at it. Dr. Nim Rod stepped out wearing a long lab coat, long rubber purple gloves, and black boots.
Dr. Nim Rod: “You think you can interrupt Don Bearelli’s tickle session with French hotties?! See how you fare against this!”
Percy sped behind the robot bear.
Dr. Nim Rod: “Wh-What?!”
Percy: “Let’s see if you can handle Dr. Sasquatch’s robot, you litterbox fiend!”
He took the robot bear’s arm and tossed it toward Celeste.
Dr. Nim Rod: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
She screamed. Celeste lunged and punched through the robot bear’s torso, creating a hole and delivering a kick to send it back to Percy. Percy jumped out of the way as the back crashed into the wall and burst into flames. Dr. Nim Rod sank to the floor and pressed her hands against her temples.
Dr. Nim Rod: “MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION!!”
She looked around.
Dr. Nim Rod: “JOHN!? PUT THIS OUT! PUT IT OUT! It’s still good, it’s still good!”
She panicked.
Deimos handed Tristan’s shoes and socks back to him, smiling. Ivy frowned when she saw Deimos’s behavior towards Tristan. He may as well kiss his feet, she thought to herself.
Ivy: “Are you okay, Tristan?”
She asked. Tristan nodded. His feet still tingled as he put his socks and shoes back on.
Tristan: “Thank you for saving me, Ivy.”
He said gently. Ivy smiled a bit.
Deimos: “I did.”
He pouted.
Celeste: “No, I did. You owe me dinner for two weeks!”
Ivy: “We all did.”
She added. Tristan smiled.
Tristan: “That’s right, you all did!”
Deimos: “Let’s get out of here.”
He pointed his thumb to the door.
Fabien put his shoes and socks back on.
Fabien: “That was fun!”
Tristan: “I reckon Craig doesn’t do that to you.”
Fabien felt a sting.
Craig: “Fun?! What do you mean fun?! Hell no! I wouldn’t do that to you!”
He pouted. Fabien grimaced.
Fabien: “Oh, of course not.”
He huffed.
Craig: “That’s right!”
He grinned, putting his arm around him. Whatever, as long as your dumbass makes me money, he thought. Ivy read his thoughts and smirked. He deserves him, she thought.
Deimos: “Let’s go. I had enough of Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest.”
He huffed.
Ivy: “Me too.”
Tristan: “Good luck, Fabien.”
He said dryly as they left.
~
At Ashley’s vendor, Percy put the box of black kittens on their table.
Percy: “Hello, fat cat, I have some kittens for you to adopt out to your shelter! It shan't take you too long, so you might have to put the cheeseburger down for two minutes!”
He quipped. Ashley’s eyes sparkled at the kittens.
Ashley: “O-Oh my stars, they’re so cute! Thank you!”
They beamed and cupped their cheeks.
Ashley: “Uhh, I’m not eating a cheeseburger?”
They scratched their head. Blair’s eyes widened.
Blair: “Where did you get this?!”
Percy: “I took them back from trolls! Check the milk cartons, Sugarplum!”
Blair rolled his eyes. He was going to ask him something else but he left swiftly.
Blair: “We should take these little ones to the shelter when it opens.”
He suggested. Ashley snuggled a bundle of them close to their chest.
Ashley: “O-oh no! I couldn’t do that to them! I want to help them find their furr-ever homes!”
They exclaimed, snuggling the kittens.
Tristan, Deimos, Ivy, and Celeste approached the vendor.
Tristan: “Greetings, how is everything selling?”
He asked. Ashley greeted them with a smile and wave.
Tristan: “And what do we have here?”
He leaned in on the black kittens.
Ashley: “A bundle of bambini!”
They beamed, feeling so overcome with joy and happiness they hadn’t felt in a long time.
Ivy: “Aww, they’re so cute!”
She beamed, reaching over and petting their tiny heads.
Deimos: “Where did you get them?”
Blair: “Some thrash metal guy with a ‘Nuklear Intoxikation Sucks’ shirt brought them to us and told us he got them from trolls and to look out for the milk cartons.”
He explained. Deimos and Tristan thought of Percy. Milk cartons? Tristan wondered. What were these “trolls” doing? Was it what I think?! He mused. Ivy read his thoughts and pondered.
Tristan: “So what do you intend to do with these kittens?”
He smiled.
Ashley: “I want to help them find furr-ever homes! Maybe this is a sign from the universe that I should make a Cat Café?”
They beamed. Tristan smiled and nodded.
Tristan: “That is an excellent idea, but I would suggest keeping these little babies until Halloween passes unless you’re adopting to someone you know.”
He advised.
Deimos: “I agree with him.”
Ashley: “Oh yes, black kitties must be protected over Halloween!”
They nodded and agreed with them.
Tristan reached into his back pocket, took out two hundred dollars and handed it to Ashley.
Tristan: “This is for a kitten of her choosing.”
He nodded to Ivy. Ivy’s chocolate eyes sparkled.
Ivy: “...Aww, oh my god, T-Tristan?!”
She gasped and beamed, picking up one of the black kittens and cradling them in her arms. Deimos looked away and looked hurt.
Ashley: “Oh wow! Thank you! Do you want a free cake with your purr-chase?”
They beamed.
Tristan: “If she wishes, yes.”
He nodded.
Ivy: “Do you have Baci cheesecake?”
She asked Ashley. Ashley nodded and beamed.
Ashley: “Oh yes, that’s one of my faves!”
They smiled, fetching a fresh Baci cheesecake and boxing it up for her and Tristan.
Ivy: “Thank you SO much, Tristan!”
She beamed, pulled him into a tight hug, and kissed him on the cheek. Tristan hugged her back and smiled.
Tristan: “You are so welcome!”
He sang. Deimos turned around and folded his arms so no one could reason his expression. Tristan peered over his shoulder and saw Deimos. He grimaced. He put his hands on Deimos’ shoulders and embraced him from behind. Deimos smiled and petted Tristan’s arms.
Tristan: “Do you want a kitten?”
He asked him softly. Deimos smiled at him.
Deimos: “I do, but I want to buy him myself. I will add in extra for a cake for us.”
He replied and gave Ivy the side-eye.
Deimos: “I’ll take a kitten from you and do you have a heart-shaped cake?”
He asked Ashley and withdrew five hundred dollars. Ashley’s eyes lit up and their mouth hung open. Ivy frowned and bowed her head, looking away.
Ashley: “O-Oh wow… sure! What flavor do you want? That's such a sweet gesture…”
They asked. I wish someone would do this for me, they thought and sighed. Ivy read their thoughts and pouted.
Deimos: “Double chocolate… because it’s sweet… like my sweet.”
He beamed at Tristan. Tristan blushed.
Ashley: “Aww, how romantic!”
They beamed, cupping their cheeks. Ivy frown deepened.
Deimos: “As for the kitten…”
He looked in the box and saw one lone tuxedo kitten. He picked him up. He was all black but had a white patch on his chest, a white patch on his belly, and white paws. Deimos checked and he was a boy.
Deimos: “I want him.”
The kitten mewed in his arms.
Deimos: “I’ll call him Leo… It’s after Tristan’s star sign.”
Tristan’s emerald eyes sparkled and he cupped his mouth.
Ashley: “Aww, that’s so sweet and purrfect!”
They beamed.
Ashley: “He’s all yours and the double chocolate heart cake, too!”
They beamed. Deimos took the box and nodded to Ashley. Ivy looked away with her kitten in her arms and tried not to cry. Tristan put his hand on Ivy’s shoulder.
Tristan: “I’ll walk you back to Andreas’ tent?”
He smiled at her. Why? So you can get rid of me so you can be with him? She thought to herself. Tristan turned to Deimos.
Tristan: “Wait for me in the car, Deimos. I’m going to walk her back to Andreas’ tent.”
He nodded. Ivy glanced up at him, pleasantly surprised.
Ivy: “Sure… thanks, Tristan.”
She said softly, holding her kitten close. Deimos rolled his eyes and sighed. He smiled a bit and nodded, holding Leo and the cake to walk back to his car.
Tristan walked with Ivy.
Tristan: “Is your kitten a boy or a girl?”
He asked her.
Ivy: “She’s a girl! Thank you, Tristan.”
She replied, stroking her head.
Tristan: “What will you name her?”
He asked as he stroked her head.
Ivy: “I think I’ll name her after the Egyptian sun cat goddess, Bastet!”
She smiled. Tristan nodded.
Tristan: “I know who this is! That is an excellent name for her!”
He led Ivy to Andreas’ tent and froze when he saw Percy in his tent. Percy handed Anubis to Andreas.
Andreas: “...Anubis?! What were you doing with my cat?”
He held him close and scrutinized Percy.
Percy: “I rescued him from the trolls, my magical friend! You see, our magical friends who sold my shirt to me, broke into your shop to vandalize it! It was a man dressed like an evil clown and his other friend, who was a fat red-haired man in a trucker hat and he got out! Some dastardly trolls kidnapped him and I rescued him for you!”
He grinned. Andreas studied him wondering why he was dressed like that and those descriptions sounded familiar.
Andreas: “...Larry Lord Kradula and Bobby ‘Killer’ O’ Sullivan?!”
He frowned. What did those numbskulls do?! He thought angrily.
Percy: “Yes, they run a heavy metal radio show that casts a sleeping spell on their listeners!”
He grinned and poked his tongue out, wiggling his split tongue. Percy swallowed.
Percy: “All right, so listen, why don’t you give me a call when you want to take things a little more seriously? Here’s my card.”
He withdrew a joker card and put it on the table. Ivy glared at Percy.
Ivy: “Don’t trust him, Andreas!”
She interjected, glaring at Percy.
Percy: “Oh, hello, Poison Ivy! I returned your friend’s cat to him and disclosed who vandalized his store! You’re welcome!”
He said wryly and spread his arms out. Percy locked his gaze on Tristan, drinking him in. Tristan shifted his eyes, feeling discomfort.
Percy: “We shall see each other again, my ice prince…”
He said breathlessly. Tristan winced and drew back. Percy blew a kiss and dashed out of there. Tristan shuddered. Ivy glared at Percy and stood close to Tristan. Tristan drew a long breath. He believed Percy did rescue those kittens and Anubis and Larry and Bobby likely vandalized the store but he didn’t understand his fascination with him… or didn’t want to, he thought.
Tristan cleared his throat. One thing at a time, he thought.
Tristan: “If you have footage, get the tapes of those two vandalizing your store and take note of anything broken or stolen. I would advise suing them, which you can do and I can represent you.”
He said firmly. He withdrew his wallet from his back pocket to hand him his business card, which Ivy designed. Andreas sighed.
Andreas: “Unfortunately, I don’t have the funds for a lawyer…”
He sighed.
Tristan: “Well, whatever we win from your case, I will deduct from that for my services.”
He offered.
Ivy: “Do it, Andreas.”
She added. Andreas nodded.
Andreas: “All right.”
He pondered when he thought of an idea. I’ll make sure they never cross me again, he thought darkly. Ivy read his thoughts and smirked. Tristan forced a smile as he observed his emotions and read him.
Tristan: “Splendid. I will be in my office tomorrow. You can drop the tapes off to me and give me a list of what was destroyed or stolen as well as its value and I’ll take it from there.”
He nodded. He knew Andreas had something else up his sleeve but didn’t want to imagine what. He said nothing else.
Andreas: “Thank you.”
He nodded.
Tristan: “All right, see you later, Andreas. Take care. You too, Ivy. Call me if you need me.”
He patted her shoulder and left, not shaking this bad feeling something was going to come to Larry and Bobby, and it had nothing to do with the lawsuit.
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