Chapter 39
The Best Gift
Jay and Kelly opened the door at the Osborne house to Jay’s paternal aunt, Patricia “Patty” Osborne. Patty is a short, dumpy woman with dyed pastel pink hair styled in an eight-inch beehive hairdo. She wore a bright pink dress over her stout body. She had cheerful magenta eyes with long false lashes, a jolly, wide smile with thick lips, and cheeks that ballooned to swallow up her small nose. She wore tons of makeup in bright, vibrant colors; this included pink blush, neon pink eyeshadow, and bright pink lipstick. Large pink cat-eye glasses hung on the bridge of her nose.
She appeared in the doorway, extended her flabby arms out, and wrapped them around Jay and Kelly, smothering the two with kisses.
Patty: “Oh, it’s nice to see my favorite nephews for the holidays!”
She exclaimed as she continued to smother them with kisses. Kelly looked uncomfortable and Jay wanted to get away. Patty’s eyes lit up when she saw Quimby coming down the stairs; her eyes sparkled with delight.
Patty: “Quimby, is that our Quimby?”
Quimby’s look of curiosity instantly turned to fear when he realized who it was.
Quimby: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
He shrieked. Before he could make a beeline to his bedroom, his aunt wrapped her arms around him and Quimby let out a blood-curdling shriek.
~
Quimby sat by the tree in a daze, his face covered in bright pink lip prints.
Quimby: “It will take days—no, months to get over this…”
He mumbled.
Ray appeared at the stairway landing, wearing just black pajama bottoms. Patty rose and rushed to him.
Patty: “Oh, Ray! My, how you’ve grown!”
She cried as she smothered him with kisses. Ray looked emotionless and detached. Patty released him and stood back, scrutinizing him. She spotted the “Robin” carved on his arm. She snatched his arm to get a closer look.
Patty: “Is this a tattoo?”
She said thoughtfully as she adjusted her glasses. Ray jerked his arm away and caressed the name.
Ray: “It’s the name of my one true love!”
He cried. Jay shot him a look that warned him not to push his luck. Ray stepped back, fighting the tears burning behind his eyelids.
A gray bi-color tabby kitten with medium-length fur and a sweet, if somewhat vacant, expression scurried by. Patty pressed her small hands with her thick, stubby fingers against her puffy cheeks.
Patty: “Awwwww, who’s this?”
Kelly: “That kitten belongs to our border, Percy.”
Patty turned to face Kelly, her eyes wide with surprise.
Patty: “You have a border? Why didn’t you tell me, dear? I could have bought ‘em a present!”
Quimby: “Trust me; he’s better off without your ‘gifts.’ ”
He muttered angrily. Kelly rose from his seat and clasped his hands.
Kelly: “Well, who’s ready for presents?”
Quimby: “Good grief…”
He groaned, but Patty ignored him and never changed her smile. It was as if she could not hear or see anything unpleasant.
They gathered around the tree to open their presents. Quimby tore the bright red and white Christmas-themed wrapping paper. He arched an eyebrow, curious as to what the box contained. He carefully removed the lid and his face crumpled at what he saw. It was an innocuous-looking teddy bear wearing a blue vest over a green shirt and shorts. When activated his face and limbs move and emote via unknown mechanical means.
Quimby: “A bear? A freaking teddy bear? What kind of scientist likes bears?!”
He demanded angrily, threw the bear down on the floor, and tightly crossed his arms over his chest. Patty only smiled.
Patty: “You would be surprised, dear.”
She stated. Quimby shot her a look of fury, his eyes challenging hers, but Patty’s eyes twinkled and her smile remained intact.
Patty: “His name is Teddy Buttspin! You place the cassette in his back and he tells you stories!”
She explained and demonstrated by inserting a cassette tape into the back of the bear. It started speaking with a cloying tone telling overly sentimental stories about his adventures. It did not improve Quimby’s opinion of her gift or her. He narrowed his eyes into dark slits and tightly pursed his lips. He could not wait for the first opportunity to throw this in the trash.
Ray tore the paper apart, revealing seven pairs of white briefs with his name and the days of the week marked on each label. Ray’s eyes filled with tears.
Ray: “Thank you for the lovely gift.”
He said sarcastically as he began sobbing. Patty brightened.
Patty: “So happy you could cry, isn’t that right, love?”
Quimby: “I think his gift is appropriate seeing how Ray seldom changes his underwear or knows what day of the week it is.”
He declared.
Ray: “THANKS FOR LETTING THE WORLD KNOW!”
He barked. Quimby was unimpressed.
Quimby: “Scientists only state facts, Ray. Fact is, you’re useless and it’s no wonder Robin hates you!”
Patty laughed.
Patty: “Ah, don’t you love it when brothers get along so well?”
Quimby eyes flashed dangerously at her. Not only did she give him a child’s gift, but also she was completely oblivious to the fact that Quimby hates Ray with every fiber of his being.
Jay and Kelly opened their presents, and both men held up ugly “his & his” sweaters. They were green with red trim and had the words “his” in red and white stripes. Kelly forced a smile, trying not to let Patty see his distaste for the gift. Jay had a crooked smile across his lips, trying to show how much he “loved” it.
Jay: “These are… very lovely, Aunt Patty.”
He said with a saccharine tone in his voice.
Kelly: “Yes, thank you.”
He said with a strained smile. Patty clasped her hands together with her mouth wide open.
Patty: “I knew you two would love it! It’s so… so… so you!”
She cried. Quimby rolled his eyes.
Quimby: “It’s a good thing her sarcasm detector is permanently damaged.”
He said wryly.
Quimby rose and angrily threw Teddy Buttspin on the floor. His sudden action made Jay and Kelly jump in their seats. Quimby glowered at his aunt, his face a deep shade of red, his eyes bulging, and his nostrils flaring resembling that of a mad bull.
Quimby: “You know what I think of your ‘thoughtful’ gift? It SUCKS! I am too old for this shit! I am also a genius scientist! How on Reona will I get amusement playing with this garbage?!”
He angrily declared and delivered a kick to the toy. Jay angrily rose from his seat.
Jay: “Quimby, you will apologize this instant!”
He demanded and pointed his forefinger at the child.
Quimby: “Bite me, you damn hippie!”
Patty laughed.
Patty: “Oh, he’s at that age! Maybe he has a girlfriend!”
Ray: “No, he crushes on Tristan, Jay and Kelly’s lawyer.”
Quimby’s face turned a deeper shade of red. He glared contemptuously at Ray, seething with rage. He lunged at his older brother and wrapped his fingers around his neck, strangling him. Ray let out a howl and tried tearing his fingers off his throat. Jay and Kelly dashed over and wrenched the angry child off the young man. Ray gently placed his hand over his throat gasping for air. Jay screamed obscenities at him, dragging him by the arm up the stairs. Patty’s smile remained intact.
Patty: “Just like old times!”
She cheerfully announced. Kelly gave her a puzzled look.
~
At the Donati manor, Blair, Ashley, and Vanessa were in the living room watching some Christmas movies. Blair wore blue pajamas consisting of a pullover with two paw front pockets, a hoodie with a cat face and ears, and pajama bottoms with cat paw prints on them. Vanessa wore a pink two-piece pajama set with cute bow patterns. It consisted of a button-up long-sleeved shirt and pants. Ashley wore their tuxedo cat onesie with the hood draped over them as they munched on popcorn. They sighed longingly at the couples in the movie, wanting what they had. Vanessa hugged her pillow.
Vanessa: “I wish I could have a relationship like this! I would love to snuggle with my lover on Christmas!”
She whined. Ashley sighed.
Ashley: “Me too…”
They sighed, cuddling their tuxedo cat in their arms.
Vanessa: “Those two boys, Tristan and Deimos, are cute!”
She giggled.
Ashley: “Yeah, they make a cute pairing together…”
Blair flicked his gaze on her.
Blair: “Why would you want those two?”
He drew a rough breath.
Vanessa: “Because they’re cute? I didn’t know they were a couple, though!”
She pouted.
Vanessa: “Deimos’ brother is also cute!”
Ashley blushed.
Ashley: “O-Oh, Lazaros? Yeah, he is…”
They sighed.
Blair: “He’s worse than Tristan and Deimos!”
He rolled his eyes.
Blair: “At least Tristan and Deimos will tell you how they feel. Lazaros is two-faced and he always changes partners like Radinka changes her dresses.”
He drew a long breath. Ashley looked away and pursed their lips. Is that true? They wondered.
Vanessa: “Sorry Ivy didn’t like the cake you made. I thought you did it good!”
She looked over at Ashley.
Blair: “I thought so, too. I never liked Ivy either. She was stuck-up when she dated Deimos and then she wanted Tristan and I guess he got sick of her, so she’s with his dad.”
He rolled his eyes.
Ashley: “Thanks, guys… I worked so hard only to be unappreciated and unnoticed…”
They sighed with hurt in their tone. Blair hugged Ashley.
Blair: “I’m sorry, Ashley… Many more people loved your cake!”
He nodded. Ashley smiled a bit.
Ashley: “Oh, yeah, the cake…”
Their voice trailed off.
Vanessa: “What was with the cake by that other guy for that Radinka lady?”
Blair rolled his eyes.
Blair: “Just some people trolling her. I think Craig and Fabien orchestrated that to laugh at her and better to laugh at her than Ashley!”
He nodded.
Ashley: “Oh, Lazaros’ ex? It looked just like her!”
They laughed a bit.
Vanessa: “Yeah, she was real mad about it. She reminds me of Radinka.”
Blair: “Well, don’t say that aloud or you’ll get an earful.”
He rolled his eyes.
Ashley: “Why not? Aren't they sisters?”
They scratched their head. Blair and Vanessa laughed.
Blair: “No, they come from the same country. Good observation because she’s a natural blonde.”
He chuckled.
Ashley: “...Wait, she purposely dyes her hair like a clown?! Why?”
They gasped. Both Vanessa and Blair laughed.
Vanessa: “Yeah, she does look like a clown!”
Ashley: “She'd be perfect for Maxx then.”
They laughed bitterly.
Blair: “Speaking of the devil, he hasn’t been around lately. It’s like he vanished.”
He said and rubbed the back of his neck. Ashley froze and their demeanor shifted.
Ashley: “Maybe he went back to Selene Valley?”
They pondered. Blair sighed.
Blair: “I want to believe that but I get this hunch Maxx isn’t going to do that. I have a bad feeling…”
He said as his voice trailed off. Ashley frowned.
Ashley: “Donut worry, he's probably laying low after how he humiliated himself with his bad music.”
They forced a smile, but their tone sounded uncertain. Blair pursed his lips. He knew Maxx had a massive ego and wouldn’t admit defeat or admit his music sucked. No, something is amiss, he thought.
Ashley: “Lettuce enjoy a peaceful and Maxx-free Christmas!”
They forced a smile and knocked on the wooden table.
Vanessa: “Yeah, we should do that and this is a great one without my stepmother.”
She said with bitterness.
Vanessa: “I wonder if Dad will come… Probably not.”
She added bitterly. Blair drew a breath and didn’t know what to say to that. Ashley knit their eyebrows.
Ashley: “Oh, why wouldn't your dad come? He's your dad!”
They asked. Vanessa looked sadly at them.
Vanessa: “That would be enough and most dads would come… but mine… is smitten with his new wife and this is why I am living here.”
She said with strain.
Ashley: “Oh… what's wrong with being smitten with your wife?”
They asked. Vanessa looked away and exhaled slowly.
Vanessa: “Nothing but… he puts her over me.”
She said meekly and hugged her legs.
Blair: “He always did this.”
He sighed.
Ashley: “Oh… I'm so sorry! Do you want a hug?”
They knit their eyebrows. Vanessa looked up at them and brightened.
Vanessa: “Yeah! I do!”
She chirped. Ashley leaned in and hugged her. Vanessa hugged them back.
Vanessa: “Thanks!”
She smiled and felt wanted for the first time in a long time.
~
At the Trémaux Château, Victor and Ivy were in their bedroom after they arrived home from the ball. Victor shrugged out of his blazer jacket and bent over to take his socks off. Ivy inhaled deeply and then exhaled.
Ivy: “Why would you think I would want this? Is this how you see me? A narcissistic princess like Jaclyn?!”
She cried into her hands.
Victor: “I didn’t order that, Ivy… I went to them to order us a peacock cake. Lucy or Jaclyn must have gone after me and changed it.”
He sighed and removed his glasses to wipe his eyes.
Victor: “I’m sorry, but I didn’t do this!”
He cried.
Victor: “I didn’t ask for any of this! You saw the bûche de Noël I had Ashley do for Tristan and that woman smeared my son when I was trying to build a bridge! Why would I do this?! Is this what you think of me, a schemer and a conniver?”
He asked and wept.
Ivy: “I don't know… We barely know each other…”
She sighed.
Ivy: “If you didn't do this, then how did Lucy get involved? Why would she do this?! How did she find Ashley to do this?!”
She paced around the room.
Victor: “Do you know my son? You wanted him before you wanted me!”
He cried.
Ivy: “I knew him a year or two ago and that's history now. I only just met you.”
She cried.
Victor rose.
Victor: “I bared my soul to you! I told you about my late wife, my deepest inner thoughts, my fears, and bared my body to you! What more do you want?! You’re proving you are like Jaclyn!”
He bawled. Ivy recoiled, looking hurt when he made that comparison.
Ivy: “So, you do think I'm like her?”
She swallowed hard.
Victor: “No, but you sound like her now! If I ordered that cake, why would I lie about it? That is not my thing! Maybe you’ll believe Tristan! I seem to be a replacement for him!”
He cried into his hands.
Ivy: “Why would I believe Tristan and why would you say something like that? You're not a replacement for him!”
Ivy: “If you didn't order that cake, who did this and why?”
She pondered.
Victor: “My mother hired Lucy so she must have! She acts like your savior or fairy godmother!”
He sighed and wiped his eyes.
Ivy: “Well, she’s not! Why the hell would she hire Lucy?! Did you know anything about this?”
She asked. Victor shook his head.
Victor: “No, neither Tristan nor I knew anything about it! I think she overheard us speaking and said you didn’t want to hire Lucy… but I think she regrets it now.”
He sighed.
Ivy furrowed her eyebrows.
Ivy: “Why would she do that?”
Victor: “I don’t think my mother likes you…”
He murmured and looked away.
Ivy: “...Well, she must really hate me just to do that to spite me!””
She cried. Victor drew a long breath and nodded.
Victor: “I think she thinks you’re going to be like… Charlotte.”
He said with strain.
Ivy: “...Am I like Charlotte?”
She asked. Victor shook his head.
Victor: “Goodness no.”
Ivy brightened a bit.
Ivy: “Good, because I never want to be like her.”
Victor: “You’re not, don’t worry about it.”
He said genuinely.
Victor: “The only good to come out of our marriage is my son, Tristan.”
He added.
Ivy: “I’m glad you love your son. Not everyone is lucky to have a father who cares.”
She said bittersweetly.
Victor: “I am sorry, Ivy…”
He said softly.
Ivy: “You will be a great father again someday.”
She smiled at him. Victor smiled at her and wiped his eyes.
Victor: “I’d love to be a father again…”
He nodded. Ivy smiled back at him.
Ivy: “I’m sorry for thinking you ordered that cake.”
Victor: “Thank you. You are forgiven.”
He said gently and rose to hug her. Ivy smiled at him and hugged him back.
~
Victor and Ivy wore their sleepwear. Victor had a red two-piece pajama set with a red plaid robe with black trim, and Ivy wore a teal nightgown with black trim. They climbed into bed, and he put his arms around her. Victor removed his glasses and started to wonder if Lazaros was behind this because of the feud he had with his son. Ivy read his mind and wondered the same thing.
Ivy: “What is Lazaros’ problem?!”
She huffed. Victor looked down at her.
Victor: “I think Lazaros is upset because Deimos looks up to Tristan and not him or he thinks Ashley likes Tristan. Or both.”
He suggested.
Ivy: “Tristan is his partner and Lazaros burned Deimos, what does he freaking expect? What’s this got to do with us? Why would he care if Ashley likes Tristan or anyone else? It’s not like he cares about them anyway.”
She shook her head.
Victor: “I don’t know why he would bring me into this… or you.”
He said as his voice trailed off.
Ivy: “I don’t know, but I wish he wouldn’t.”
She folded her arms across her chest. Victor held her close.
Victor: “I think my son can take care of him or Deimos can.”
He kissed her head.
Ivy: “I’m sure they can.”
He raked his fingers through Ivy's hair and the two shared a deep kiss. Ivy felt a surge go through her that didn’t feel like anything she felt before. She pressed her large breasts against his chest and rested her hand on the nape of his neck as she tasted him.
Victor broke the kiss and smiled at her. Ivy rested her head on his chest and Victor held her close.
~
Hector bounced around the living room, dancing around the nine-foot Christmas tree with the train encircling it. He wore pajamas consisting of red plaid pants and a shirt with red plaid sleeves and a white front that read, “Merry Stinkin’ Christmas” with a vector drawing of stinky feet.
Hector: “Jaclyn, we have to wear these matching pajamas! I had them made for you! With your feet, it will be a stinky Christmas!”
He giggled. Jaclyn bared her teeth and her face flamed red.
Jaclyn: “HOW DARE YOU! I ASKED YOU TO HIRE THE BEST CHEF AND YOU AND THAT WOMAN COLLABORATED WITH THAT COW TO HUMILIATE ME! IT WAS THE MOST HIDEOUS CAKE EVER, YOU MORON!”
She screamed and stomped her feet.
Hector cupped his cheeks and giggled.
Hector: “Guess what I got you for Christmas, my Queen Bee?”
Jaclyn: “Stop calling me that! I am not a bee! I am just a queen!”
She snapped.
Jaclyn: “It had better be jewelry and dresses, Hector!”
Hector tore open the crudely wrapped gift to reveal a keg of foot deodorizer. Jaclyn gawked at it.
Hector: “Even better! A lifetime supply of foot odor powder! It gets preeeetty stinky around here with your feet!”
He giggled and fanned his face.
Jaclyn’s jaw dropped. She was too stunned to speak, so she bared her teeth and clenched her fists. Her face turned red as her hair and veins popped on her forehead.
Hector: “Are you trying to take a massive poop? Maybe I should have gotten you diapers!”
He laughed. Jaclyn opened her mouth and let out a scream.
Jaclyn: “HECTOR, YOU MORON! THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER! I WANTED JEWELRY AND DRESSES! AND TO UPSTAGE IVY AND YOU GIVE ME THIS! YOU MORON!”
She bellowed and shook the tree.
Jaclyn: “I HATE THIS HIDEOUS TREE MADE FOR A CHILD! I DON’T WANT CHILDREN!”
She angrily shook it and the tree crashed down on her.
Jaclyn: “YARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!”
Hector laughed hard and clapped.
~
Fabien and Craig were in their living room. Fabien wore just a pair of green plaid pajama pants and Craig was in his camouflage boxers.
The two men were listening to the baby monitor and laughing hard. Fabien had Gus planted baby monitors in Hector’s house to listen to the shitshows from Hector and Jaclyn.
Craig: “BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER!”
He cackled and kissed Fabien’s head. Fabien chuckled.
Fabien: “Glad to give it. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”
He said wryly.
They heard Hector sing, “Stinky feet” to the tune of “Jingle Bells.” Craig howled with laughter and amusement.
Craig: “This is better than TV!”
Fabien rose and stood in front of him.
Fabien: “And what about your gift?”
He planted his hands on his hips. Craig glanced at him with desire.
Craig: “What… you?”
He purred at him. Fabien nodded.
Fabien: “Are you going to unwrap me?”
He extended his arms.
Craig: “Fuckin’ oath, I am!”
He purred, yanking down his pajama pants and briefs, revealing Fabien’s naked body standing before him.
Craig stepped into the bedroom and held Fabien’s hand as he followed, sitting down and pulling Fabien’s back into his chest before surrounding him.
He kissed Fabien’s jaw as he stroked slow circles with his hands on Fabien’s chest. He tweaked one nipple and then the other, loving how Fabien pressed his back and ass against him in response.
Craig slid one hand down motioning for Fabien to widen his thighs. When he did, Craig’s hand cupped Fabien’s ballsack, gently kneading his balls with deft fingertips.
The soft sigh Fabien shared in response meant he was aroused, ready for whatever pleasure Craig decided to gift him with.
When Craig slid his hand up and closed his palm around Fabien’s cock, the indecent moan Fabien released was meant to encourage Craig in his current course of action.
Craig’s hand picked up a sensual tempo, lovingly caressing Fabien’s hardened cock, while his tongue plundered Fabien’s mouth, and the man’s body shuddered, that meant he was ready to splinter, and Craig wanted so desperately to watch him fall apart.
Fabien moaned, his face tightened in impending pleasure. Craig slathered anal lube on his cock. Fabien's hips lifted; Craig slowly slid his member into Fabien's anus. Fabien moaned in pleasure, his muscles fluttering from the spasms racking his body.
Fabien’s body arched as his release erupted into the air and slapped against the carpet on its descent.
His body went limp against Craig. Craig took a few moments to take his own pleasure, holding Fabien against him.
As they lay in bed, catching their breath, Fabien turned in his arms and nuzzled his neck.
~
Tristan, Deimos, and Celeste were in the living room of Deimos' house watching Christmas movies. Tristan had his sports jacket and waistcoat off. A few buttons were unsnapped and his tie was loosened. He also had his shoes off and black sheer dress socks on. Deimos wore his red silk pajamas with his name embroidered in gold on the left breast pocket. Celeste had her shoes, jacket, and gloves off. She looked at Tristan’s sheer-socked feet.
Monica came in with a tray containing three mugs: one Santa, one snowman, and one Rudolph. Each mug had whipped cream, red and green sprinkles, and a candycane.
Monica: “Here you are, boys and girl! Some hot peppermint cocoa and some gingerbread cookies!”
She handed them each a mug.
Tristan: “Thank you, Monica.”
He said warmly. Celeste took Deimos’ candy cane from his mug. Deimos gaped at her. Tristan rested his head on Deimos’ shoulder and he relaxed. Celeste ate the cookies one by one and stopped to gaze at Tristan’s feet. She reached out and tickled them. Tristan laughed and pulled his feet away.
Tristan: “HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA!”
Deimos: “...What are you doing?”
Celeste: “What does it look like?”
She tickled his feet and he jolted and laughed.
Tristan: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
He kicked his feet.
She dragged her nails over them and tore the sheer socks to make holes in them.
Tristan: “Oh, golly…”
He looked at the holes in his socks.
Tristan: “So much for my socks.”
Deimos and Celeste gawked at them. God, that makes it hotter, they both thought.
Deimos pulled Tristan’s shirt out of his pants.
Tristan: “What are you doing, Deimos?!”
He laughed.
Deimos: “Get his feet, Celeste! I got his tummy!”
He commanded. Tristan went ashen. Deimos attacked and tickled his tummy while Celeste snaked her arm over Tristan’s ankles and scribbled her nails over his feet. Tristan shrieked and laughed hysterically.
Tristan: “WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”
He laughed hard as tears welled in his eyes. Deimos dug his finger in Tristan’s bellybutton and wiggled it as Celeste tickled in between his toes. Tristan howled with laughter.
Tristan: “WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! OHOOHOHOHOHO MY!”
He wheezed in between bouts of laughter and was loving this despite it also exhausting him.
~
That night, Tristan and Deimos snuggled in his bed. Tristan wore his silver silk pajamas as he lay in Deimos’ arms.
Tristan: “Oh, golly… My feet and tummy are tingling.”
He laughed. Deimos smiled down at him and kissed his head.
Deimos: “This is my best Christmas ever…”
He said softly and intertwined his fingers with Tristan’s.
Deimos: “I love being with you and your presence is the best present.”
He kissed each of Tristan’s fingers. Tristan giggled and pressed his lips against his.
Tristan: “The feeling is mutual…”
Deimos wrapped his arms around him and held him close.
~
Percy arrived in the driveway of The Osborne house. He let himself in and crept through the hallway trying not to wake the residents. He saw Patty sleeping on the couch snoring loudly. His lips curled in disgust at her. Who is this awful-looking creature? He wondered. His gray kitten dashed to him. Percy knelt down and the kitten leaped in his arms. Percy walked up the stairs cradling him.
Percy: “Hello, Smokey. Sorry I was so long.”
He crooned.
He entered his bedroom. It was a medium bedroom with black walls, a magenta and pink upholstered bed, neon lights in the shape of cocktail glasses, lips, and a mail torso on the walls, and pink cocktail glasses floor lamps. Percy undressed down to his silky blood red briefs and climbed into bed. He pulled out a picture of Tristan and smiled. He pressed his lips on the photo and traced his fingertips over it.
Percy: “My lovely snow angel… I must have you…”
He crooned and reached down to start stroking his cock to Tristan.
~
Downstairs Teddy Buttspin’s eyes opened and the bear scrambled to its feet and stood up. It began walking through the living room and climbing the stairs.
~
Percy’s loud laughter woke the residents of the house. Jay mumbled obscenities under his breath and got out of bed. Jay pounded on his bedroom door.
Jay: “HEY!! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!”
He roared. The laughing didn’t stop.
Ray and Quimby barged out of their rooms to see what was happening. Jay had enough. He swung the door open ready to tear them a new one. His jaw dropped at what he saw.
Teddy Buttspin—the doll Aunt Patty gave to Quimby—was tickling Percy’s feet. The little bear doll was stroking Percy’s soles.
Percy: “HAHAHAHAHAHA!! FUCK!! WHAHAHAHAHAHAT IS HAHAHAHAHAHA THIS F-FUCKING THING?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”
He writhed and squirmed violently as he howled with laughter. Jay and Kelly stared at the scene, unable to utter a word.
Quimby folded his arms over his chest and grimaced.
I got a dumb toy and it didn’t even tickle Tristan, he thought. Then his face turned bright pink.
Damn this space virus for making me think such irrational thoughts, he thought bitterly.
~
On the news, the man making monkey sounds delivered the news. He remarked that there are several reports of a “Teddy Buttspin” doll from an unknown toymaker telling sickeningly sweet stories to children at day. At night, it tickles adults’ feet.
~
Dr. Nim Rod cries with delight at the success of her newest invention.
Dr. Nim Rod: “At long last, my Christmas toy is a success!”
She looked at the video surveillance footage installed in each Teddy Buttspin to see her doll tickling feet.
~
Maxx was in a room with a Christmas tree and gifts filled the room to the brim. Dr. Wolfgang Duerr sucked on his pinky finger as he watched Maxx open the gifts. Dr. Ellis Hoffman looked at him.
Ellis: “Sir, we electrocuted him, doused him in acid, shoving knitting needles in his eyes, and set him ablaze. What is the purpose of this?”
Maxx opened the last gift and threw down.
Maxx: “DAT SUCKS! Is that all?!”
Wolfgang glared at Ellis. He cleared his throat and spoke into the mic.
Ellis: “Yes, Maxxy.”
Maxx’s faced turned red and he bared his teeth. He stomped around throwing everything around. He grabbed the tree and shook it angrily until it fell on him.
Maxx: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWAAHHHHH!!!”
He cried. He wiggled his arms and legs. Dr. Duerr watched him through the two-way mirror. His eyes lit up with amazement when he saw Maxx put the tree in his mouth and eating it whole. He cupped his mouth as tears filled his eyes.
Dr. Duerr: “He’s… He’s… majestic!”
He said breathlessly as he watched Maxx devour the Christmas tree with the ornaments.
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