Chapter 22
Maxxy’s Law
“Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”
It was three o’clock in the afternoon. Maxx was still asleep. Anthony looked in on him and wondered how much longer he would sleep. He then slapped a magazine on his face. Maxx snapped out of his sleep, brushing the magazine out of his face.
Maxx: “Wh-What the f-fuck, Tones?!”
He said half-sleepily. Anthony held up the magazine. It was the Pink Top Tabloid with Maxx right on the cover. They took his picture as he shot his fist up in the air. It had, “PINK TOP CITY HAS A TOWN CLOWN!” The subheader read, “Bootleg Vivienne Wannabe’s singing is as bad as his hideous fashion!” Maxx snapped out of his sleep and let out a shrilly scream that filled the area.
Maxx: “OWWWWHHHH! NAAAAAH-AAAAAAHHHH!!”
He caterwauled. He leafed through the contents of the magazine. They criticized his bad singing, his fashion, and how poorly he took the reception. It then stated he was Maxx Malone and he came from Swanton, Australia, and moved to Selene Valley, Australia. It added, “Felipa Flores (who he calls “Filly-babe” because he’s retarded) took a trip there and had a one-night stand with him. Maxx gave his virginity to her. Maxx made an expensive trip from Selene Valley to here to find a girl who only intended to fuck him once. That has to be the saddest and most pathetic virgin thing ever. Not even the local village idiot, Trevor Hinkley, would sink to that level of pathetic.”
Maxx: “Wha-WHAT?! NAH-AH! THAT’S NOT TRUE! I FUCKED TWENTY HUNDRED THOUSAND LADY BABES!!!”
He screamed and leafed through more pages. It had blurbs about Blair and Ashley giving him a critique that he threw a tantrum about and elaborated on his terrible music stating he will never be anything other than a shitty Vivienne bootleg.
Maxx: “NOOOOOOWAAAHHHHH!!!! LIES!! ALL LIES!! THEY’RE JUST JEALOUS OF MEEEEEE!!!”
He screamed. It also had blurbs about his shirts and posters reading “Sex Bees” and Maxx blaming the printers when he paid peanuts for this poor quality merchandise, stating Maxx was a failure before he started being a joke of a glam metal musician. Maxx screamed at the top of his lungs and ripped up the magazine. He knocked everything off his dresser, kicked around his clothes, picked up his boombox, threw it down, and smashed it on the floor. Anthony gaped owlishly as he watched the tantrum unfold. Maxx sank to the floor sobbing. Wait until he sees his “real” merch, he thought with a snicker.
Anthony: “Maxx, come on, buddy, let’s go downtown to do some shopping…”
He held him up. Maxx sobbed as Anthony dragged him out.
~
Anthony and Maxx arrived in downtown Pink Top City at the boardwalk where there was an outdoor market selling fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, homemade crafts, baked goods, Steel Axe band merch, and there was a circus tent. Anthony tried not to laugh as he approached the circus tent with Maxx.
Maxx’s jaw dropped at what was being sold in the tent: Maxx Suxx merchandise. They had t-shirts with no signs over Maxx that read, “Sex Beest Sucks” or “No Bozos!” as well as posters and signs with the same thing. They sold Maxx Suxx sodas in flavors such as Maxx’s Banana Brain (Banana), Maxx’s Berry Bad Music (raspberry), Maxximum Virgin Vanilla (vanilla), Maxx + His Hand = A Grape Pair (grape), Maxx’s Blueberry Blueballs (blueberry), Orange You Glad You’re Not Maxx (orange), Maxx Sucks Lemons (lemon), and Maxx is Ultra Uncool Cola (cola). All of this was selling better than his own merchandise.
Maxx: “WH-WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT IS THIS!?”
He shrieked at what he saw. Some teenage boys pointed and laughed at Maxx.
Teenage boy: “Hey, look! It’s the screaming glam metal clown who can’t sing!”
They laughed at Maxx. He turned to them furiously and stormed after them.
Maxx: “GRRRRR, YOU FUCKIN’ ASSHOLES!! YOU DON’T MESS WITH DA BEEST!”
He tripped over his long pointy boots and landed facedown on the ground. People gathered around and laughed at Maxx.
Man: “Did you really come all the way here just to find a girl who intended to fuck you once? Man, that is… the most pathetic, saddest shit I ever heard!”
He laughed. Maxx scrambled to his feet, his face red as a stop sign as he screamed and threw a tantrum. The people gathered around taking pictures and laughing at him only adding to his ire.
He then screamed when he saw his own glam shot posters in the tent edited with clown make-up and a big red nose on his face and instead of reading, “Sex Bees” it reads, “Clown Act Come see the biggest clown: MAXX MALONE!”
Maxx: “WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE?!”
He let out a ghastly scream. A man laughed.
Man: “Improved it.”
He chortled at his retort. Maxx flipped them all off and ran away in tears. Anthony laughed so hard, that tears streaked his cheeks. He followed Maxx.
Maxx angrily pounded the hood of Anthony’s car.
Anthony: “Maxx, what are you doing? Cut that out!”
He said tersely and grabbed his arms. Maxx yanked them away.
Maxx: “TAKE ME TO THAT FAT ASSHOLE, TONES! HE DID THIS!”
He shrieked and jumped up and down flailing his arms.
Anthony: “Sure, buddy, get in.”
He smirked.
~
At Jumbo Jones’ Grocer, Trevor leafed through the tabloid as Larry checked on the grapefruit.
Trevor: “Man, at least they’re not making fun of me today!”
He laughed and beamed.
Trevor: “Man, that guy came here to find a girl who had sex with him once! I only want to do that with M’Tristan! He is the one who ended my love quest!”
He pounded his chest with pride. Larry stroked his chin.
Larry: “Me? I have many options… I am a charmer with the ladies.”
He smirked. Trevor raised his eyes to Larry.
Trevor: “ ‘cause of Zoe?”
He asked. Larry’s face twisted with disgust.
Larry: “WHAT?! NO! I was with Felipa last night! We fucked good and hard!”
He replied in a gravelly tone. Trevor blinked.
Trevor: “What a coinkidink! It says here in the tabloids this Maxx guy had sex with Felipa in Selene Valley and came all the way here to find her. See?”
He opened the tabloid to the page to show him.
Larry: “SINCE WHEN CAN YOU READ?!”
He barked at him and snatched the tabloid from his hands.
Trevor: “Iunno, reading is boring but feels good not to be made fun of?”
He shrugged. Larry read it, clutched the tabloid in his hands, and ripped it.
Larry: “SHE NEVER MENTIONED THAT CLOWN TO ME! HE’S A POSER! I’M TRVE KVLT BLACK METAL!!”
He threw his head back and howled. People in the store stared at him. William Jones was behind him gaping at him, unimpressed. He drew a breath and rolled his eyes.
Trevor: “Must be Trevor Day because he’s not mad at me for once!”
He chirped.
~
Maxx and Anthony arrived at the Donati manor. Ashley and Blair were out in the garden playing with Keke. Celeste was mowing the lawn.
Maxx: “YOOOOOOOOOOUUU!!!”
He pointed to Ashley and growled. Ashley heaved a sigh and closed their eyes.
Ashley: “What is it, dude?”
They asked in a defeated tone. Maxx threw the tabloid at Ashley. Ashley jolted and picked it up to read it. Blair and Celeste looked over their shoulder to read the contents.
Maxx: “AND! THERE IS MAXX SUCKS MERCH BEIN’ SOLD AT THE BOARDWALK!! YOU FAT BASTARD TRAITOR!! YOU! DID! THIS! YOU! BETRAYED! MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
He jumped up and down screaming his head off. Ashley stumbled over a laugh when they read the labels.
Ashley: “...W-what? I didn’t do this?”
They tried to hold back their laughter. I wanna bake a big yummy cake for whoever did though, they thought.
Blair: “Ashley was with us last night selling baked goods at the stall.”
He explained.
Maxx: “Did he eat all da food?!”
He rasped. Ashley drew an exasperated breath. Ashley: “They and no.”
Celeste: “You came to their stall to scream about how they ‘ruined your mic’. Remember? How could they whip up all this merch and make this tabloid quickly? No offense to Ashley but I don’t think they know how to go about making or doing this. Demetrio was helping them set up the vendors.”
She added. Ashley nodded.
Maxx: “NO WAY, BABY! LOOK!”
He pointed to a picture of a white woman with brown hair with blue tips posing with Ashley at one of their vendors for a craft show. She was Oriana Maestri—the founder of Rogue Rouge magazine.
Maxx: “He’s stealin’ da lady babes from Maxxy!”
He whined.
Celeste: “I thought they couldn’t get ‘da lady babes.’ Now they’re stealing them?”
She asked wryly. Ashley gaped at Maxx owlishly.
Ashley: “Yeah… I’m confused. Do I steal da lady babes or do I not get any puss-say because I’m fat? Which is it?”
They scratched their head. Maxx growled at them.
Maxx: “You’re gonna pay for this, FATLEY! Mark my words! Don’t fuck wit da beest!”
He growled.
Anthony stepped out of his car and laughed.
Anthony: “I came to get the rest of his stuff.”
Celeste tossed him a rag.
Celeste: “There you go. The rest of his shit.”
Anthony unfolded it and it was a Sex Bees shirt with streaks of dirt on it. He snorted. He recalled his stupid poster had “Sex Bees” on it.
Maxx: “NAH-AH! BABY, I GAVE DAT SHIRT TO YOU!”
He sank to the floor and sobbed.
Celeste: “The shirt was too small. It stunk of mothballs, and I don’t like Sex Bees. Besides, I don’t want to ruin the magic between you and ‘Filly-babe’.”
She said wryly. Anthony cupped his mouth trying to hold his laughter in. Ashley turned around to hide their laughter.
Maxx: “WHERE IS MY PORTRAIT?!”
He screamed.
Celeste: “It was cold last night, so I suggested we use that for kindling. I set it on fire to keep us warm… along with the other shirts.”
Maxx: “NAH-AH!!! FATLEY’S FAT ASS COULD WARM YOU! WHY DID YOU BURN DAT?!”
He sobbed and pounded the ground.
Maxx: “WHY DID YOU BURN DAT?! IT WAS WORTH A MILLION DOLLARS! YOU COULD HAVE BURNED FATLEY’S MUM’S DUMB RAG!”
He bawled. Ashley’s demeanor soured and they glared at Maxx overcome with a foreign and powerful emotion they hadn’t felt before–resentment.
Shauna came out with a black cat cake.
Shauna: “Ashley, the cake you made for Victor is ready! You can take it to his house!”
Maxx took the cake from Shauna.
Maxx: “FUCK YOU, FATLEY!”
He threw the cake at Ashley’s face. Ashley yelped, taken aback. Blair gasped. Anthony’s jaw dropped.
Blair: “Ashley!”
He cried. Ashley trembled with hot tears.
They stormed inside and came out with a box. They grabbed Maxx’s posters, throwing them into the fountain.
Ashley: “LEAVE ME ALONE!”
They cried. Maxx wailed.
Maxx: “NAH-AH! MY BABIES!”
Anthony grabbed Maxx’s arms.
Anthony: “Okay, buddy, they don’t have your stuff. Let’s go home.”
He said firmly.
Maxx: “YOU ARE MY ENEMY, YOU FAT ASSHOLE! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!”
He caterwauled as Anthony held him back.
Celeste: “Okay, looking forward to the toddler tantrum ‘music’.”
She said dryly.
Anthony: “Maxx, settle down, I will get your Kiddie Kuizine nuggets!”
He hissed.
Maxx: “Yeah! Dat fat fuck didn’t make dem for me! He made me eat shitty cooking!”
He spat. Ashley shook his head.
Ashley: “He will drain you, too!”
They hollered out to Anthony.
Anthony: “Sorry about this! See you all later!”
He threw Maxx into the car and climbed in. He started the car and drove off.
Celeste: “You broke his mic and now you’re making all this Maxx Suxx merch. He thinks you’re this master manipulator or somethin’.”
She said to Ashley. Ashley looked down at the bits of cake on the ground. Victor called them to have them make a cake to cheer Tristan up and make amends.
Ashley: “I’ll call Victor and tell him I need more time…”
They sighed.
~
Victor cradled the phone in the receiver after speaking to Ashley. He sighed and understood. What else can I do to cheer Tristan up? He wondered. Craig came downstairs in his Nuklear Intoxikation shirt, denim vest, torn jeans, and work boots.
Victor: “Hey, Craig, Tristan is coming home soon, so I’m going to get Chinese ordered in. What do you want?”
He smiled. Craig groused when he mentioned Tristan coming home soon.
Craig: “Let’s get fuckin’ Taco Time!”
He commanded. Victor grimaced.
Victor: “I don’t like that place and neither does Tristan. Please, Craig, I want to make amends to my son.”
He said softly.
Craig: “All right, all right, get him a teddy bear or somethin’.”
He shrugged. Victor frowned.
Victor: “He doesn’t like those, even when he was a little boy. He always loved cats.”
He said, feeling his frustration grow.
Victor: “Anyway, what would you like at the Chinese place? Tristan gets a number eight, which is sweet and sour chicken, beef and broccoli, chicken fried rice, and an egg roll. He gets two extra egg rolls.”
He smiled.
Victor: “I get the number four, which is honey garlic spare ribs, chicken chow mein, chicken fried rice, and a spring roll.”
He nodded.
Craig: “Yeah, all right, I’ll have the spare ribs ‘n fried rice outta that then!”
He stated.
Victor: “So you want the same combination as me?”
He smiled.
Craig: “Nah, I’ll have that ‘n you can have the rest! You don’t want to end up like Ashley!”
He laughed. Victor folded his arms over his chest.
Victor: “How would I end up like them?”
He asked with irritation in his tone.
Craig: “...You know.”
He spread his arms out and puffed his cheeks.
Victor: “I can’t get fat. I’m an ectomorph.”
He reiterated firmly.
Craig: “Oh, I thought you were a writer?”
Victor: “I am, thanks for noticing.”
He said dryly.
Craig: “Just give me the sweet ‘n sour chicken, fried rice ‘n beef ‘n broccoli ‘n you can eat the rest!”
He beamed. Victor glared at him.
Victor: “I’ll get you and my son the same combination plate and get mine.”
He rolled his eyes and sat down, putting his feet on the ottoman as he thumbed through the phonebook.
Craig: “Could ya ask them to include ketchup?”
Victor rolled his eyes.
Craig glanced down at his feet. Hotties like this tickling stuff, huh? He thought and trickled his fingers down his feet. Victor laughed and pulled his feet away, waving at Craig to stop.
Victor: “I’m on the phone!”
He whispered hoarsely.
When he placed the order, he heard Tristan come home. He rushed to the door to see his son with his sports jacket in his arm and holding his briefcase. He removed his shoes in the mudroom revealing his sheer socked feet. Victor greeted him.
Tristan: “I have a case to work on.”
He said tersely. Victor stood in front of Tristan with beseeching eyes. Tristan grew annoyed.
Tristan: “I have something to do!”
He snapped.
Victor: “Please, Tristan, I ordered Chinese food! I got combination plate number eight—your favorite! I want to eat with you!”
He pleaded. Tristan felt his ire soar. Oliver rubbed against their legs and Tristan sighed.
Tristan: “All right.”
He relented.
When the food arrived, Victor opened the door to a young muscular white man in his twenties. He paid for their food and gave the delivery man a big tip. Craig glared at the man and snarled like a dog. Victor closed the door and came with the food. Craig folded his arms over and pouted at Victor. Tristan glared at Craig. Victor handed the food to Tristan.
Tristan: “What’s wrong now?”
He asked as he placed their food on the table as well as their utensils. Victor went into the fridge to get a bottle of duck sauce.
Craig: “That guy was flirtin’ wit’ Victor and he gave ‘im a big tip!”
He huffed. Victor closed his eyes. Tristan drew a long breath.
Tristan: “Craig, that’s what you do to service workers.”
He said exasperatedly.
Craig: “Now he’s gonna think he wants to fuck him!”
He slammed himself in the seat and pouted.
Tristan: “Right, like you don’t want to fuck Fabien.”
He said dryly. Craig pouted.
Craig: “Where’s the ketchup?”
Tristan: “You don’t have ketchup with this.”
He sighed. Craig pounded his fists on the table causing Tristan and Victor to jump.
Craig: “I WANT KETCHUP!”
He snapped.
Tristan and Victor started eating their food. Craig got the ketchup from the counter. Tristan ate his food and tried to ignore Craig. Victor shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Craig splattered the ketchup all over his food and dug in.
Craig: “Oh yeah, this is wicked sick!”He declared, talking with his mouth full.
Tristan: “Mhm…”
He ate his food neatly. Craig accidentally knocked his plate over, getting it all over the oriental rug.
Craig: “OH, SHIT!”
He gasped, scurrying around, looking to find something to clean it. Tristan heaved a deep sigh. Grandmère is going to kill me, he thought as he closed his eyes.
Tristan: “That will need to be cleaned professionally…”
He said in a defeated tone.
Victor: “Could you eat a little slower, Craig? No one is going to take your food.”
Craig: “Not my fault you eat too slow, Victor.”
He replied. Victor pursed his lips and clenched his fist. Tristan glared at Craig and observed his father’s emotions.
When they finished eating, Tristan and Victor dabbed their mouths with their napkins. Craig lifted his shirt and blew his nose in it. Tristan gaped at him with disgust. Victor averted his eyes. Craig let out a loud belch.
Tristan: “Nice…”
He muttered. Oliver was eating the food from the oriental rug. Victor shook his head and removed his glasses to rub his eyes.
Victor: “I called Ashley to make a cat cake for you. Remember when you were little and I got you a rabbit cake and you pushed the ears in to make a cat?”
He laughed. Tristan sighed. Craig scoffed.
Tristan: “What are you trying to do, Papa?”
He asked in a defeated tone.
Victor: “...I don’t want you angry with me.”
He cried. Craig snorted. Victor glared at him.
Tristan: “Craig, don’t you have somewhere to go?”
He asked sharply.
Craig: “Nah, I’m stayin’ right here!”
He insisted.
Victor: “Craig, would you give Tristan and me some privacy?”
He asked as his voice rose. Tristan quirked an eyebrow.
Victor: “GET OUT NOW! GET OUT AND LET MY SON AND ME SPEAK!”
He screamed at Craig. Tristan froze when his father screamed at him. His heart hammered in his chest.
Craig recoiled, taken aback. At first, he thought it was Tristan screaming, but to his shock it was Victor.
Craig: “...O-Okay.”
He nodded and slithered out the door like a dog with its tail between its legs. Victor followed him and locked him out.
Victor: “I want NO interruptions…”
He said sternly. Craig pouted like a dog.
Victor drew a long breath and approached Tristan.
Tristan: “Now do you see it? Do you see WHY I didn’t want him living with us?”
He finally asked. Victor nodded.
Tristan: “This is a part of why I am angry with you, Papa… It’s not the sole reason…”
He confessed. Victor locked his gaze on his son.
Tristan: “You said I was like… that thing. I was raising my voice to get my way, unlike… that… Craig is bad news. He’s being kicked out because he’s a chronic failure in life. He was supposed to be the leader of a thrash metal band for Deimos, but he did nothing to make this band a reality. He was… fornicating with Fabien, laying around, getting his mess everywhere, and being a waste of space… just like now.”
He drew an exasperated breath.
Tristan: “Yes, I know we should help the less fortunate but Craig is the cause of his misfortunes. This is his own damn fault. He needs to get himself out of it; the onus is not on us. Had it not been for Deimos or me, he wouldn’t have gotten a job at Voyage Burger.”
He said firmly.
Tristan: “You can’t save everyone, Papa…”
He sighed.
Victor: “I’m sorry, Tristan… I didn’t understand and didn’t understand why you yelled at me.”
He said in a small voice.
Tristan: “It doesn’t make what you did okay. I don’t raise my voice or get angry for no reason; there lies a good reason why I do this.”
He said doggedly.
Victor: “I’m sorry… I don’t believe that! I just didn’t want you angry with me! I love you, Tristan! I always loved you and one of the best days of my life was when you were born!”
He cried. Tristan drew a long breath.
Victor: “I know you’re not like her…”
He said softly and hugged his son. Tristan sighed and hugged his father back. He missed the formative years of his life and Tristan knows he’s emotionally stunted. I guess I will have to be more patient with him, he thought.
Victor: “What can I do to make this up to you?”
He finally asked.
Tristan: “If I get angry, please don’t jump to erroneous conclusions. Ask me why I am.”
He began.
Tristan: “And Craig has to leave. I don’t want him here. His presence causes me great discomfort, and I can see he does this to you, as well.”
He said firmly and Victor shuddered. He sighed. He knew Tristan was right.
Victor: “Where will he go? He has nowhere.”
He looked down at his feet. He felt some sympathy for Craig but didn’t want Tristan to know. Tristan observed his father’s expression and saw there was some apprehension.
Tristan: “It’s not our problem, Papa… There are homeless shelters. He’s working. He can rent an apartment or find somewhere else to live.”
He said tenderly and put his hand on his shoulder. Victor drew a long breath.
Tristan: “The only way we can truly mend and heal is to remove that obstacle.”
He said firmly but gently, nodding his head at Craig outside. Victor heaved a deep sigh and nodded.
Victor: “All right…”
He relented and embraced himself.
~
When Craig was pacing back and forth, Tristan came outside to him.
Tristan: “Pack your stuff and leave. You will need to find somewhere else to live.”
He said firmly.
Craig: “WHAT?!”
Tristan: “You heard me. Get your stuff and leave this place.”
He repeated.
Craig: “You ain’t the boss of me. I’m not going anywhere. Right, Victor?”
He scoffed. Victor was behind Tristan.
Victor: “You have to leave, Craig.”
He stammered but kept his tone firm. Craig turned to him and gaped at him.
Craig: “...WHAT?!”
He swung his gaze over to Tristan.
Craig: “You! You put him up to this!”
He growled at Tristan. Victor stood in front of his son.
Victor: “I want to mend my relationship with my son! This wasn’t going to be forever, Craig! You have a job now! You can find your own place! My son is important to me and more important to me than you! You will understand when you have children!”
He snapped.
Craig: “What?! Where the fuck am I supposed to go?! I-I thought we had somethin’ special…”
He pouted.
Craig: “Jokes on you, I ain’t havin’ children!”
Victor shifted his eyes.
Victor: “No, we didn’t. I established I wasn’t interested in a relationship.”
Tristan: “You had something special with Fabien, Craig. Who do you think you’re fooling?”
He hissed. Craig’s bottom lip trembled.
Craig: “But he’s fucking some glitter cock!”
He whined.
Tristan: “Well, fight for him, Craig! He’s doing all this to elicit jealousy from you.”
He said evenly.
Craig: “R-Really?!”
A big grin spread across his face and he rose to his feet. Tristan nodded soberly.
Victor: “How could we have something special when you’re already pining for Fabien? Go to him and get out!”
He snapped. Craig pouted.
Craig: “This is all YOUR fault! You got Fabien expelled ‘n now you got me kicked out!”
He barked at Tristan. Victor shoved Craig away.
Victor: “Don’t yell at him!”
He cried.
Craig: “You’re taking HIS side?!”
He pointed at Tristan.
Victor: “HE’S MY SON! I LOVE HIM! I told you that you will understand when you have children!”
He cried. Tristan folded his arms over his chest.
Tristan: “Go to Fabien, Craig.”
He said firmly. Craig glared at Tristan and huffed.
Craig: “You’ll pay for this!”
He huffed, locked his gaze on Tristan and picking up his stuff and throwing it into his Jeep.
Tristan clenched his fists and was about to blast him with his ice but Deimos delivered a hard punch across Craig’s face sending him crashing into the garden.
Deimos: “Don’t threaten him, Burger Berserker!”
He growled. Craig turned to Deimos, sneering at him.
Craig: “Fuck you!”
He growled and scrambled to his feet, charging at him. Deimos delivered a swift uppercut to his jaw sending Craig crashing into his Jeep. Victor cupped his mouth. Tristan grinned.
Deimos: “Retreat now, Burger Berserker and go beg Fabien for mercy.”
He growled and put his fists up. Craig bore his hateful gaze onto Deimos.
Craig: “FUCK YOU BOTH! YOU’RE BOTH GONNA PAY!”
He rasped at them, stammering over to his Jeep. He climbed in and started it and sped out of the driveway knocking the bin over and getting garbage everywhere. Tristan sighed and shook his head. Deimos hugged him and Tristan hugged him back.
~
When Craig sped down the street, he saw someone in front of him and slammed on the brakes. It was Celeste hanging upside down from a tree by her legs. She held a piece of paper in her hand and pointed to it.
Craig: “What the fuck?!”
Celeste: “This is where Fabien lives!”
She pointed to the paper.
Celeste: “Can you read?”
She asked. Craig scoffed.
Craig: “Of course, I can read!”
He pouted.
Craig: “...Where is it?”
She lifted her legs and flipped over to land on her feet. She handed him the scrap of paper.
Craig: “Can’t you just show me?!”
Celeste: “You can’t read… Just admit it.”
She pouted. Craig growled and glared at her.
Craig: “JUST SHOW ME!”
She rolled her eyes.
Celeste: “Okay, I’ll get in the Burger Berserker mobile and show you.”
She said as she rolled over the hood and climbed into the passenger’s seat.
~
Craig arrived in another area of Papamos and his Jeep rolled up to a one-story gray house with a skillion roof. There was a small bush garden on the lawn, several palm trees, and Fabien’s Shelby in the driveway. Behind the house was a river and a patio.
Celeste: “That’s his house.”
Craig: “Wicked sick! Cheers for that!”
He grinned.
Celeste: “What are you gonna do?”
She asked.
Craig: “I’m gonna take back what’s mine!”
He declared.
Celeste: “Okay, go get him!”
She nodded to the French door.
Craig: “I will!”
He grinned, turning up his car stereo to blast a romantic metal ballad to get Fabien to come out. The lyrics growled and screamed: “My bloody heart pumps for you! I’ll kill for you! You’re mine! Be mine or die! THRASH!” followed by wailing guitars.
The door opened and Gus came out in his underwear.
Gus: “CRAIG!”
He rushed up to him and threw his arms around him. Craig was taken back.
Craig: “HEY! Get off me!”
He rasped, shoving him off him. Fabien stepped out dressed in a tank top and jean cut-offs.
Fabien: “What do you want?”
He folded his arms over his chest.
Craig: “I want you, Fabien! My bloody heart pumps for you!”
Gus: “It’s a good thing you came, Craig! We’re out of groceries and all we got is Kiddie Kuizine! I can eat that but Fabien can’t!”
He nodded.
Fabien: “Tristan and his Daddy kick you out so you can’t play step-daddy for Tristan?”
He asked dryly. Craig’s fury soared.
Craig: “That hoity-toity lawyer cunt got me kicked out like he got you kicked outta school! You were right about him!”
He pouted.
Fabien: “I don’t care about that school. Being a lawyer isn’t for me anyway.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes.
Craig: “Yeah, being a sex bomb is!”He wiggled his eyebrows.
Craig: “MY sex bomb!”
Fabien smirked.
Fabien: “Did you step up your game, Craig?”
He purred.
Gus: “Yeah, you gotta tickle his feet!”
He interjected.
Craig: “YEP!”
He grinned, wiggling his fingers.
Craig: “I’ve come to tickle ya!”
Fabien: “Ooooh, well, what are you waiting for?”
He smirked.
Celeste pointed to the three-story hacienda with the fountain and the luscious garden.
Celeste: “How come you didn’t buy that place?”
Fabien paused.
Fabien: “Oh! I owed a lot of money to Cash Cow Mart and I couldn’t afford a place like that!”
He laughed.
Fabien: “I’d have to win the big jack pot for that!”
He added and laughed.
Craig: “Pfft, you wanted to buy a cow?”
Fabien: “No, Craig, it’s a money loan place. I borrowed money.”
He chuckled. Fabien threw Gus’ clothes at him and handed him some money.
Fabien: “Go buy some cigarettes for me, a burger for yourself, and a Jackpot Gold ticket.”
He ordered. Gus put his shirt and shorts on. Fabien led Craig inside and locked Gus out.
Craig: “Fuck yeah, let’s get busy!”
He beamed, stripping off his shirt.
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